Sis, Do Whatever TF You Want!
*THIS MESSAGE CONTAINS EXPLICIT LANGUAGE. rEAD AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION.*
The context/back story: I am currently leaving a relationship where I decided to live within the bounds of my partner’s judgment, criticism, approval, adoration, etc. I accept my part in this dynamic and I also realize it was a co-creation. I am not fully absolved and I am not fully responsible.
This message is specifically for women because I think we live with it more than men. More specifically, it’s because I’ve only lived life as a woman so I am speaking from experience.
The message: In short: Do whatever THE FUCK you want to do.
From the moment you are born, society normalizes shame and guilt. You are made to feel bad about your weight, your beauty, your complexion, your height, the length of your hair, your dis/ability, your religion, your heritage, your ability or interest in having children (shame) , your choice around marriage (oh you betta do it….or else, shame), your sexuality (you better like men….or else shame), if you like sex a lot (shame), if you don’t like sex at all (shame), if you have a deep voice, or mousy voice, introvert, extrovert, assertive, passive. Shame shame shhhhhhut the fuck up!
There is shame around virtually every fucking corner! So do, unlike me for the last forever years of my life, and find out what you want to do/say/be and just do that.
Once you realize, the whole game is rigged to corner you in by shame, you can break free. If they’re going to do it anyway- do whatever it is you want to do. Let. Them. Gag.
For some cultures this is stronger than in others so the uphill battle is different- but I pray for your freedom. Freedom from giving a fuck about what people think of you and all that you are.
I’m not the first to say this message and I hope I’m not the last. May it reach all who it resonates with so they may find freedom in their lives.
Lastly, I’ll say that these pressures and shame traps may very well be there for men and NGC folks but here I am speaking about the woman’s experience because that is the one I know intimately well. There may be other posts and websites on the internet that speak to these things.
I will quote this until it’s no longer true “Emancipate yourself from mental slavery/ none but ourselves can free our minds.” - Robert Nesta Marley